i'm still trying to figure out who i could be. who i am. without this. i've already found so much. i found love. i found life again. i find joy in life again. but there's still so much i don't know. i dont know how to handle without this black shadow by my side. i know i will figure it out. i just hope it'll be in time. i'm trying my hardest. just give me time. please.
As amazing as it is, having a blog and community where you can openly and honestly talk about your eating disorder, exchange yourself with fellow sufferers, express your deepest feelings, in the real world, to be quite frank, it doesn’t help you to get the message out at all. Trying to explain your eating disorder, the pain, the thoughts, your mind to someone in real life by using similar words or ways as on tumblr, youre more likely to confuse them even more. Shouting out your feelings on tumblr seems so easy. That’s why we get so caught up in this virtual world. Ypu can make friends and talk to them about the stuff that’s constantly on your mind anyway, and while getting things of your chest, talking about it and recognising behaviours is really helpful, on the other hand you just separate yourself from the real world even more, get comfortable in this virtual place because they understand your sick mind. Here you don’t have to justify yourself or your behaviours. You don’t have to challenge the demons inside. It’s a bit like Narnia. While moving in this world it is real, there’s life, human interaction, success and failure, feelings and all, but on surreal level. However, when it comes down to it, all of this is nothing more than memories or a fantasy world in your head. It doesn’t help you to survive in the real world. It’s a nice escape, a place to rest and distance yourself from the things your confronted with in the real world, which is of great importance as well. But in the end you have to exist without it and justify and challenge and prove yourself in the real world.
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- lunargoat said:on spot, true for most of the internet too.
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